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  #441  
Old 10-10-2013, 08:41 AM
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farrwf farrwf is offline
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Default Re: Otis Farrell July 24, 1999 - October 4, 2013 RIP

Thanks everyone for your very kind comments. I knew losing Otis would have a big impact on me, but I had no idea just how big. Here I am 6 days later and am still leaking tears at the drop of a hat. Itís hard to believe just how much I loved that little 30 lb. ball of fur!

Last Friday Otis had a lot of wax around one of his ears, much more than Iíd ever seen before. As I was cleaning it I noticed quite a bit of blood in the area also. Called his vet and was told I could drop him off and one of the doctors would see him between appointments. Didn't think a whole lot about it, as Otis had recurring ear problems for years. After I dropped him at the vet's, I got a haircut and stopped by the grocery to pick up a chicken for him. I always added some crock pot chicken or ground chuck to his W/D kibble so he would eat and I could give him his insulin.


I arrived back home and after putting the groceries away,
was going to get his chicken started in the crock pot and call the vet to see when I could pick him up. I checked my answer machine and found 4 messages from his doctor, all coming within a 30 minute period. Right then, even before listening to them, I knew we had big problems. The calls started about an hour after I dropped Otis off and were all a variant of "Mr. Farrell, this is Dr. Whistler please call me as soon as you can, ... Otis is not doing well." I called immediately and was told Otis was experiencing severe congestive heart failure, his lungs were about 75% filled with fluid and his breathing was quite labored. They drained some fluid from his lungs, and he'd been given a sedative and was resting comfortably, but the outlook was not good.

This was a complete shock to me and while talking to the Doctor the decision was made not to cause my Otis to suffer any longer. He'd been fighting battles on too many fronts, been suffering too long and this fight was one we could not win. A neighbor who was close to Otis came with me to say goodbye and to be there for him as he left us. That was the hardest thing I ever had to do and last Friday turned out to be the saddest day of my life.

Brenda took some pictures and videos while we were with Otis before the doctor came in. I melt every time I look at them. I have loads of pictures and videos of Otis through the years and he just looks so much older and so much more frail in these last ones, even from ones taken less than a year ago. In fact, the poor guy looked older and much more frail from when I dropped him off just a few hours earlier. I just wanted to hold my little guy and keep hugging him. I couldnít get enough of him before he passed, ... just wanted to keep petting him and talking to him forever. When I felt the life leave my little boy it was as if a huge piece of me was suddenly missing. They were nice enough to let me come in and leave through a rear entrance to the clinic as I knew I would be a sobbing mess. Several of the technicians who had known Otis for years were crying too. It was a sad, sad scene. I need to call his doctor to get his ashes, and I also want a detailed explanation of how his heart condition could have gone undetected when he had a pretty thorough examination only 3 weeks earlier. Just haven't been up to doing that yet.

Looking back on everything it is obvious to me my Otis really stopped enjoying his life as he always had after he lost his vision. Of course, he had some good and some not so good days, but nothing like his pre diabetes / blindness life. He used to enjoy racing around the golf course with his Westie friends and them chasing each other, as well as sitting in my office looking out of his favorite window for extended periods. Those days were over for him when he lost his eyesight. He developed chronic sinusitis as a byproduct of his severe allergies, which was impacting him more often, than not. His arthritis and mobility problems increased in the last several months to where I believe the only times he really enjoyed himself was when he was eating or sleeping. Seems the Metacam helped the problem he was having with his rear legs ... but his front shoulder didnít seem to be responding to anything we tried. In spite of all the meds he was receiving, his pain got so bad in the last couple of months I carried him on most of his "bathroom" trips out to our backyard, and would hold him steady as he took care of his needs. Iím sure that bothered him a lot because he had always been quite modest about ďgoingĒ where people could see him. He always found a bush or tree to get behind. He did maintain a great appetite right up to the end.

Would I do it again? ... Canít think of anything I would enjoy more, diabetes & all!











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Otis Farrell dx'd 12/10, best friend to his dad, Bill, for over 14 years. Left this world while in his dadís loving arms 10/04/13. Sonny Farrell dx'd 1/14, adopted 5/15/14. Left this world while in his dad's loving arms 9/06/16. Run pain free, you Pug guys, til we're together again.

Last edited by farrwf; 12-21-2014 at 05:47 PM.
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  #442  
Old 10-10-2013, 08:56 AM
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Default Re: Otis Farrell July 24, 1999 - October 4, 2013 RIP

so sorry Bill. I have a picture of forbin on my desk at work and my eyes fill with tears every morning when I say Hi Buddy. He's one dog that was truly part of my heart so I understand
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  #443  
Old 10-10-2013, 09:01 AM
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Monsters Momma Monsters Momma is offline
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Default Re: Otis Farrell July 24, 1999 - October 4, 2013 RIP

Thank you for sharing that incredibly difficult story with me. I know you shared it with all of us, but I felt you were talking directly to me...it's such a personal story, sad and poignant.

If your words don't show, your pictures show me what a big part he was in your life. You cannot expect 6 days to have much of an affect on your heart when there's a huge hole in it. What a cute little fur ball he was...I assume that picture was when you first got him. Then of course the pictures as he got older. I love him laying in the sun...I can look at that picture and think back to a dog I lost that used to do that, and now I can do it with a smile. Some day, you'll be able to think back and smile, but it may take awhile. Give yourself that time.

Praying for peace and comfort for you.
Mel
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  #444  
Old 10-10-2013, 09:07 AM
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momofdecker momofdecker is offline
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Default Re: Otis Farrell July 24, 1999 - October 4, 2013 RIP

Quote:
Originally Posted by farrwf View Post
Would I do it again? ... Can’t think of anything I would enjoy more, diabetes & all!

Says it all right there....
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Holli & Decker // diagnosed November 5th, 2011 // Journeyed to the bridge January 26th, 2013, surrounded by his family at home // 9 years old // Levemir insulin // Hypothyroid // C1-C5 cervical spinal lesion // weight 87 lbs // Run with the wind my sweet boy. Run pain free. Holding you close in my heart till we meet again!
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  #445  
Old 10-10-2013, 09:14 AM
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Soaphie & Sydney's Mom Soaphie & Sydney's Mom is offline
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Default Re: Otis Farrell July 24, 1999 - October 4, 2013 RIP

Sending you more hugs Bill...
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Soaphie = 15 yr old Border/Berner mix dx 07/08. ~8.25 units a.m./p.m. vetsulin, blind/deaf. Ultra Senior, Vital Beef/Bison, Brown Rice and lots of loving. Soaphie passed on October 29, 2015. Sydney = 14.5 yr old Aussie/Shar Pei mix dx 11/10. NPH-varies w/ predinisone a.m./p.m., blind/deaf. Sydney passed on June 3, 2014.
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  #446  
Old 10-10-2013, 09:22 AM
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Default Re: Otis Farrell July 24, 1999 - October 4, 2013 RIP

oh yes bill i would do it all over again

it was time you gave him the gift of removing his pain the problem is we take on the pain for them as they leave (the emotional pain )

i guess there is no easy way its a process and a peace of us goes with them .thats why a humane heart is so big it has to be
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  #447  
Old 10-10-2013, 11:00 AM
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Default Re: Otis Farrell July 24, 1999 - October 4, 2013 RIP

I love all of your pictures Bill. Thinking of you and your Otis. Judi
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  #448  
Old 10-10-2013, 11:38 AM
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Default Re: Otis Farrell July 24, 1999 - October 4, 2013 RIP

So very sorry. What a precious, beautiful boy. Praying that you will feel his comfort.
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  #449  
Old 10-10-2013, 07:10 PM
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Default Re: Otis Farrell July 24, 1999 - October 4, 2013 RIP

Quote:
Originally Posted by farrwf View Post
I couldn’t get enough of him before he passed, ... just wanted to keep petting him and talking to him forever.

When I felt the life leave my little boy it was as if a huge piece of me was suddenly missing.
Bill, this first sentence brings me back to the poem you posted when the dog asks the person not to falter when it is timed to let them go. Such an incredibly hard thing to do.

The second sentence brings me back to when I helped my first dog Stevie go. As I felt her spirit slip away it felt as though I took a knife in my belly...I had always thought it was just a saying, but it truly felt like that.

In the past when I have felt the end near I have taken a lot of pictures. Those pictures have haunted me after, when you can then see how hollowed out your best friend had become.

I am so glad to see your post. thought about you often today. Do you still have Savannah or any other dogs? I hope there is someone 2 or 4 legged to give you comfort.

And if not or in addition to, we are always here for you....so many of us having gone through it ourselves recently.

Tara
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She was a courageous Boston Terrier who marched right on through diabetes, megaesophagus, and EPI until 14.
Lucky for both of us we found each other. I'd do it all again girly.
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  #450  
Old 10-10-2013, 09:11 PM
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scoora scoora is offline
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Default Re: Otis Farrell July 24, 1999 - October 4, 2013 RIP

Bill, Love all the pictures of Otis. What a precious boy.
Again, sorry for your loss. I know the pain. Thinking of you and Otis.
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Last edited by scoora; 10-10-2013 at 09:13 PM. Reason: added comment
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