Kyla's Story

[mik2sand]

I'm new here, posted a few threads about Kyla and her worsening problems, seeking advice. Kyla is a 15 and a half year old Westie. She has always been such a perfect little girl. Over two yrs ago, she was diagnosed with diabetes. Took about 3 months to get her regulated. she's been doing pretty well, considering. there are times when it was a challenge to get her to eat, but she usually just wanted to please me, so she ate her DCO, even though she had always been used to other foods. Her eyesight gradually diminished. In about March things started getting bad. I noticed she would sleep a lot more than usual, bump into things more, and have bouts of thirst, and also start pacing through the house very agitated. But then she would settle down, and be ok. She started losing her appetite about then, very gradually, so I didn't think too much of it. About a month ago she started refusing to eat, and I had to hand feed her every meal in order to give her a shot, which she did reluctantly, but still, she wanted to please. I took her to the vet, her BG was fine, and he told me just to hang in there, old age can diminish appetites. he also had to switch her from Vetsulin to NPH. Was on 9 units of Vetsulin, switched to 7 units of NPH to start with. That was on a Friday. By Monday, her BG tests were raising, so he told me to get her up to the 9 units over the next few days, which I did. That Sunday I knew something more was going on. She started pacing around frantically, and just kept drinking more and more, but yet she was not urinating as much as I thought she should have been for all she was drinking. I did a urine test, it was ok. Oh, and over the past 2 months she started vomiting bile, again gradually so it didn't seem too serious. I took her outside and she walked in a circle, around and around, until I finally picked her up. she had been getting wobbly lately, and she was also completely blind by now. she would pace frantically and panic, her heart would race, and I would have to rock her to calm her down. Monday morning I took her back to vet. Complete blood work showed abnormal liver, kidneys, elevated WBC, no fever, and fasting BG of 600. Everything seems to be shutting down, probably due to old age, but possibly complications from the diabetes. But I told the vet I didnt want to pursue anything because I think she had enough of poking and pricking and force feeding and no quality of life, just sleeping all the time. But if I took her off insulin, since her BG jumped so quick, he said she would probably go into seizures within a matter of days. so I took her home, fed her, gave her insulin, and next day her BG was back to normal. One week went by, same thing going on, having to basically force feed her, and all she did was sleep, except for when she was pacing. 3 days ago the bile vomiting started occurring more frequently, once through the day and then every morning at 4 a.m. Right afer that, she would immediately urinate and "poop". oh, she's also gradually started trembling. the past 2 days I noticed her sleep was more of a "deep" sleep. Again this morning 4 a.m., vomiting bile, urinate, poop. 2 hours later I took a urine test, and it was at the 1/2 mark. I fed her, this time it wasn't so much of a force feeding where she was spitting things out, it was more she wouldn't even open her mouth like she just didn't want to be bothered. somehow I coaxed her to eat (after 45 minutes) and gave her the shot. an hour later she had diarrhea all over the kitchen floor. I had to go to work for a few hours, so I left her sleeping on the couch. I just came home. She won't even drink water anymore, her stomach feels hard (she's lost 2 pounds in 2 months), and I tried every thing I could think of to see if she would ever have a glimmer of wanting to eat -- nothing worked. her eyes are oozing, her blood has mucos with blood tinge, and teh vomit had blood in it today. She doesn't even want to be held, she wants to just be left her to sleep. I know in my heart this is it, she's tired of living like this, she doesn't feel good, and I can't put her through any more testing. I just made the hardest call of my life to the vet, and I have an appointment for tonight. I'm almost sure of what the outcome will be, I'm not expecting miracles, and I don't want to prolong her suffering any longer just to try to ease her over this crisis, only to have another one come up in 2 days from now. I know she's tired, and there's no more fight in her, she has no quality life anymore, and she's only hanging in there, again just to try to please me. I have to let her know that it's ok for her to go, but it's just so hard. I sat there crying with her, explaining it, and telling her I didn't want her to hurt anymore, and I hope she understands. she put her head on my shoulder, and then just moved off my lap and went to lay in her bed. I'm sorry this is so long, I just needed to tell her story, of how brave and good she is, and how I wanted her to be known by all of you, so her life's last hours would mean more. thanks for listening.

[Tikobird]

Re: Kyla, is it time to let go?

While it is never long enough, 15 1/2 years is quite a milestone! I sit here crying with you for the position you are now in and wish there were some words that would make this time easier for you, but we all know that just isn't so. No matter how much we know we are doing what is in "their" best interest, it doesn't make it any better for "us" and those little paws leave such a big hole in our hearts. You and Kyla are in our thoughts and prayers.

Lori & Dozer

[Patty]

Re: Kyla, is it time to let go?

I copied your post to the main forum in Kyla's thread: http://www.k9diabetes.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1953

[k9diabetes]

Kyla's Story

In this picture, Lexi is in front, Kyla in the back.




Natalie asked how Lexi and Kyla came to live with us. I started giving a short answer, but words started pouring out of me and it kind of ended up into a look back at her entire life. I'd like to share it with you.

Since I was new to forum, I'm not sure of all your different postings but if there is a spot where pet's life stories are placed for others to read, would you please post this for me.

I've read so many kind wishes from everyone, and I want them to know how special of a dog Kyla was. I know it's long, I tend to do that, so I understand if you can't post it or if you don't even want to read it. But just writing it gave me comfort.

My daughter was in college in NC, living alone in her first apartment, so on a visit home to NJ she bought Kyla for companionship. They went everywhere together, so Kyla learned to love riding in the car, meeting new people, and playing with the cats and dogs of my daughter's friends. About 2 years later she met her future husband, was always out, school studies and commitments were more intense, and she had less time to devote to Kyla.

At that time, we had a 10-year old pampered Yorkie, Misty, who was my little angel, but slowing down because of age, got sick a lot with minor things, seemed to have lost the will to live and just wanted to sleep and be left alone, so we didn't think she would accept a new dog into "her" house. (She had met Kyla 2 years prior and she definitely made it known this was her territory!) But we felt sorry for Kyla, having to be alone so much. She was such a good, smart dog, friendly with everyone, and just wanted to please. (Although I think she sensed the boyfriend was getting more attention than she was because she chewed up 4 pairs of his glasses within 2 weeks I guess in an effort to get him to stop coming around!) Anyway, we brought Kyla back to live in NJ with us.

At first it was hard, because Misty was tiny,and fragile, older, set in her ways, and being an "only child" she was always protected. Kyla being a puppy just wanted to play all the time and would do anything and everything to get a reaction from Misty, nudging her, dropping toys on her, licking her, nipping at her, jumping on her, and Misty would just sit there and snarl, grow and even snap! But Kyla was persistent, and after a few weeks she won Misty over. They became constant companions and Misty took over a "motherly" role to Kyla, teaching and guiding her. Kyla gave Misty a new lease on life and a "second wind" because all of a sudden Misty was playing and running around like a puppy! They had completely opposite personalities; Misty was more independent, feisty, lovable but a bit "uppity"; whereas Kyla was so sweet, gentle, and just wanted to cuddle. Misty always pushed her way first, and Kyla, respectful of her age, would let her get the first treat, or would stay still and let Misty run to get the ball first, and even stay in the background so Misty could get the first "hello" when we came home, and patiently wait for her turn. And as the years passed, their bond grew.

About five yrs later we moved down to NC. They adapted well to the move, and loved playing out in the yard. My grandson was born and Kyla was fantastic with him. she loved children, and would let him pull, poke, touch and squeeze her, never snapping like some dogs would do. When I would babysit, she would lay next to him while he was sleeping, and watch over him, alerting me if he woke up.

Over the next 3 yrs Misty's health started failing, her eyesight and hearing diminished. the roles reversed; Kyla became the protector, while Misty depended on Kyla. She would walk pressed up against Kyla in the yard and Kyla would guide her where to go, keeping her from getting confused and lost . If we called Kyla to get a treat, she would take it but run and give it to Misty, and then come back hoping we had another one for her. When Misty didn't feel well, Kyla knew, and she would not leave her side, cuddling with her and helping Misty feel safe. Misty lived to be 18-1/2 yrs old. When we finally had to put her to sleep, I was devastated. But Kyla was there now to comfort me, always sensing when I needed her near me the most. I am so thankful for Kyla, she gave Misty true friendship and a quality of life during her last years. Considering Misty's condition when Kyla first came to live with us, I know Kyla is the one that helped extend Misty's life all those extra years.

So that brings us to Lexi. About 5 months later, we felt Kyla needed the same type of companionship that she had selflessly given to Misty. So we searched around different breeders, and then saw Lexi. She was so small compared to the rest of the litter, so timid, sweet, innocent, she reminded us so much of Kyla that we couldn't resist choosing her. They became instant friends. Kyla, already almost 11, who for the past 4 years had lived a slow-paced life with Misty, all of a sudden had this new puppy to play with. They wrestled and played and Lexi climbed all over her. It was funny to see this 20-pound dog wrestling this teeny puppy and yet being so gentle! Kyla now had a new job on her hands, becoming teacher to Lexi. She taught Lexi well, and "raised" her to be a fine, smart, obedient part of our family. The funny thing is, we picked Lexi because we thought her personality so mirrored Kyla's but that proved to be untrue. She is an exact copy of Misty! She has her same expressions, behaviors, and "snootiness". She would always push Kyla out of the way to grab the attention first. But again, Kyla being the sweet dog she was, allowed Lexi to get her way with everything! As much as Lexi bullies Kyla though, she is afraid of her own shadow, and always relied on Kyla as her safety net. Even though she was the "leader", we would always say that someday when Kyla is gone, Lexi is going to be lost.

When Kyla got diagnosed over two yrs ago with the diabetes, words can't describe the emotions I had (but I'm sure you all know the feeling). Dramatic changes to feeding, no more "goodies", strict time schedules. My life now revolved around Kyla, her schedule became my schedule, and I spent hours trying to learn about and understand this disease that was so foreign to me, and I was scared of every decision I made. But Kyla made it easy, because she adapted to her new lifestyle so well, and she got regulated within about 2 months. She did well, with only a few incidences. The vet bills, a minor visit would always end up costing over $100, no matter what I would bring her in for, there were always tests and consultation fees -- even when I asked the vet if I could switch the DCO to her former dog food, I printed out the analysis and ingredient list and asked her to compare it -- it took her 2 minutes and she charged a consultation fee! But I thought that was the way it was with diabetic dogs. A few months later we needed to board Kyla while we were away, but our vet assured us she would be safe, since they were the ones who diagnosed her and knew her condition. Every day I called and they said she was doing fine. Six days later when we picked her up we were horrified. They came out and said "Kyla didn't do good in boarding". She wasn't eating, they had to force feed her, and evidently she had vomited after the shots and they didn't know, so she had crashed 3 times, and they had to pump her with fluids and glucose and do all kinds of testing (I couldn't even comprehend what they were saying). The boarding bill that was supposed to be $100 was now over $700! The pillow we had left for her to sleep on, was given back to us covered in vomit and diarrhea. My heart broke, knowing she was sleeping in this filth these days. I don't know why, but I paid the bill without saying anything, and took her out of there. I think I was just too much in shock because I had been led to believe she was doing fine. I just wanted to get her home and hold her. When we got her into the car, she was trembling (something she never did). We took her home, and within one day I had her back to eating and taking her insulin properly. That's when her eyesight started getting a little distorted, and for about 6 months, she would quiver when we took her in the car (I guess out of fear of where she was going) or when a stranger would come near her. I found a new vet, one that did tests, but not unnecessary ones, and relied more on me for how I would explain Kyla's symptoms and behavior. And Kyla got back to being herself. I started taking her for short walks, and she started playing with Lexi and wrestling. I was so happy to see her enjoying her life again. She had no major setbacks with insulin, although she did have a respiratory infection and they found a little fluid in her lungs, but they kept checking it to make sure it didn't progress.Her only problem was her eyesight was deteriorating, and she would flinch when she would go out in the sunlight. So I bought her a pair of Doggles and a visor cap. She looked adorable in it and she adjusted to wearing them with ease -- I think she felt she looked "cool"!

A few months ago I noticed Kyla's appetite diminishing, which I attributed to old age. You all know the rest of her time here on earth from my previous posts.

The day we were going to take Kyla for her final vet visit, I think Lexi sensed something was wrong. she laid with her all afternoon quietly on the couch, and when we were leaving, we said "say goodbye to Kyla" and she actually licked her face! I don't know if Lexi realized Kyla wasn't coming home. But that night, Lexi was restless all night long, pacing all over the bed, because Kyla always had "her" spot on the pillow above my head. the next day when I fed her breakfast, she looked at me confusingly as if to say "where's Kyla, she should be eating and getting her needle".

So that's Kyla's life. I work from home, so I was always able to be here with Kyla, through the regulation, the good days and the bad, for which I am so grateful, and I think this time together is what built such a strong bond. I can't begin to count the number of times these past few months I sat and held her in my arms, rocking her to ease her pain and help her feel safe, because I knew all she could see was darkness. Kyla was such an extraordinary dog. She came into our lives for so many purposes; first to help Misty and then Lexi. But the one she helped the most was me, she taught me what true courage, respect for others, love and commitment means, and I am so blessed to have had her love for all these years. All the financial expense, sacrifice of time, tears, and heartbreak pale in comparison to the joy she has given me, and I wouldn't trade that for anything. During her diabetes, I had to change the way I did things and gave her two years of my life, but how could I do any less when she had given me her entire life. When we lost Misty, the hurt was unbearable, but the pain I feel losing Kyla is so much more than I can ever have imagined. No matter how many times I had to stick her with needles, she looked at me with such trust in her eyes as if to say it's ok, I understand. Even the last month of her life, as sick as she was feeling, she was still trying to please me by eating in response to my pleas. I pray that she forgives me for not realizing sooner that it was time to let go instead of insisting she eat.

I know Kyla and Misty are now running and playing together, and they can see!

[Patty]

Re: Kyla's Story

What a blessing Kyla was! Such a beautiful soul. Thank you so much for sharing her story with us. There are no words to help mend the ache her passing leaves, but praying Kyla's memories will help to heal your heart in time.

Godspeed sweet Kyla,
Patty

[Noodle]

Re: Kyla's Story

Thank you for sharing Kyla's beautiful story. It's amazing to read how Kyla fulfilled such a special role in Lexi's and Misty's lives...and in yours. I hope the wonderful memories you have of Kyla (and Misty) bring comfort and smiles.